Reign of Terror During Sacrament...

(This really has nothing to do with the pregnancy except that I felt hot and sick afterward)

We usually arrive at church right as it starts with no time to spare so we sit in the overflow often. Well, after today I will be arriving 15 min. earlier every Sunday from now on. I promise I've learned my lesson on tardiness.

We had the opening prayer and then a few ward announcements as usual. Then then it was time to open the Hymn books. I grabbed mine from the chair next me a saw a creepy crawly German roach on the seat next it. I reacted quickly and quietly by flipping it on to the floor where it ran under the chairs in front of me and disappeared. I tugged Waylands arm and told him about the roach. He cringed and we went on to singing. Shortly after that I glanced over at the chair again to make sure it was gone and something caught my eye. Two chairs over was a black bag with another roach on it. It belonged to the woman sitting next to it three chairs from me. She was singing away obliviously. I looked closer and saw a smaller roach on the outside of the bag too. I grabbed Waylands arm and told him to look. I watched his eyes focus on the issue at hand and then his face turned to terror! He told me don't look now! (of course we were whispering but more of a panicked whisper) I turned my head toward the demon bag to find more roaches surging from the bag! We're talking 10, 11, 15, 20 roaches swarming onto the chairs and on the woman! Wayland looked away and scooted over but I had no where to go. I was trapped! By now the song ended and the blessing for the Sacrament commenced. I could not close my eyes! those wicked bugs were headed my way. She must have felt one crawl on her because she started flipping them onto the floor. I couldn't look I focused on the metal trays moving throughout the chapel. I could hear her rummaging in the bag trying to squish them and saw her stepping on their hideous skeletal bodies desperately trying to keep them from getting away. As she smashed and flipped and stomped I thought OM Gosh she's got to get that bag out of here AND she's got wash her hands before she takes the Sacrament! Nope, neither happened. She passed the tray to me and I reluctantly took a piece from the outer edge and carefully grabbed the handle farthest from where her hand touched. Then she went back to smashing and squishing up until the Sacrament was over and a crowd of late-comers entered the overflow from the lobby. I sensed her sweating bullets because SHE was now trapped and I'm sure she was utterly embarrassed. That's when she grabbed her bag and left. I couldn't focus on anything that was said the whole meeting since I had to monitor the seats and floor for strays.

Anyway, as I said it's strictly pews for us from now on. Bug-free pews.

You're a real trooper if you've read this far into my blog. I'm sorry I shared this but I needed to get it out.